Today’s fluff didn’t start the fire

Slowly, they come creeping back. The low flames flickering in the reflections of their bright eyes. Above the susurrating winds and the hushed chitter from the shadows, snatched phrases and tentative negotiating ploys are faintly audible: “Player-plus-cash deal” … “£120,000 a week” … “Six-month loan with a view to a permanent transfer pertaining to a pre-agreed contractual release clause.” The banked fires will be stoked again, fuel brought by willing arms. Out of the darkness they will flit, once more to dance in the circle of light …

[Fade to black]

Yep, the Mill is feeling in fine fettle this morning, as only three days after the transfer window SLAMMED SHUT the gears of spin, cant and innuendo are rapidly grinding back into life. The main target today is the England manager and national pin cushion, Fabio Capello, who is sensationally going to use players we have heard of in a formation that is practically hardwired into the English mentality for tonight’s Euro 2012 qualifier against Bulgaria. Capello’s decision to retain the majority of the squad that fared so badly in South Africa and send his team out in a staid, missionary 4-4-2 met with the usual LOLZ, Roflcopters!!, ZOMG!, lollerblading in my LMAOplane!!!!! response from the tabs. Oh, and the Mirror have decided to Photoshop the Italian up like Frankenstein’s monster too.

From one soon-to-be ex-manager (well, he will be one day) to an ex soon-to-be-new manager, the Daily Mail have announced that Gérard Houllier has got the Aston Villa job. This, of course, would be the same Gérard Houllier who was part of the Fifa technical study group that yesterday doled out praise for England’s 4-4-2 loving World Cup flops. It’s only if you read down far enough that the Mail admit they don’t actually know what job it is Houllier has been given (if given one he has been). “It is as yet unknown in what capacity the Frenchman will return,” the report murmurs. Head of catering, perhaps?

Sticking with the Mail, where the Spartak Moscow manager, Valeri Karpin, is totally into Chelsea’s Yuri Zhirkov. “I was interested, I am now and I will be in the winter,” Karpin cooed in a Facebook message to the Russian left-back. We’ll see how steadfast his affection is come January.

The Mirror delight in the scatological headline possibilities allowed for by Celtic’s decision to sniff, ahem, around Danny Shittu. The former Bolton defender is a free agent, so can sign for who he likes yah-boo-sucks to you, transfer deadline. Leicester also fancy a [big Nigerian centre-half].

After welcoming old new-signing Sandro to England five months after he agreed to join, Spurs have turned their attention to Supersport United’s Bongani Khumalo. Harry Redknapp has typed a number into his calculator (possibly 5318008 and turned it upside down) but the South African side are holding out for an unspecified higher amount. Michael Kightly, meanwhile, overlooked for Wolves’ 25-man Premier League squad, could be sent on loan to Reading and Chris Riggott is to go on trial at Cardiff.

In transfers-that-didn’t-happen news, West Ham’s Valon Behrami is still pining for Roma. “I am disappointed the deal failed to go through – that is for certain,” he told the Sun. “Avram Grant gave me his permission to speak with Roma. But he also said he needs me, with West Ham bottom of the table. I’m sure I’ll still get to play for them.” And they say the Swiss don’t get passionate about things.

Jamie Carragher is going to sign on at Liverpool. No, not for his £64.30 Jobseekers Allowance, but for two more years being given the runaround by the Anfield oppo. Thankfully on this one, Fabio Capello has seen the light. Across La Manche, France’s players have signed up to a good behaviour charter, so says Bacary Sagna. If they’re naughty again like they were at the World Cup, there’ll be no frites for tea, or something.

Benjani has said Manchester City lack “class”. Meh. And Zlatan Ibrahimovic reckons “City are still a side for the future. I chose Milan because they are a team that can win prizes now. City can wait for the future but I can’t.” But can they, Zlatan? Can they?

Finally, exclusive to all newspapers is the news that Cheryl and Ashley Cole are to divorce today. Although the Mill might keep its Cheryl Cole RSS feed – purely in the event that she hooks up with another brother from the fraternity – if that’s all right by you.

Aston VillaChelseaTottenham HotspurCelticAlan Gardnerguardian.co.uk

• Milner sale might be ‘good business’ for Aston Villa
• City under huge pressure to win trophy, says Villa winger

Stewart Downing has warned James Milner it will be difficult to hold down a regular place at Manchester City and that the midfielder might have to be content with being a “bit-part” player if he decides to leave Aston Villa this summer.

Downing suspects Milner has already made up his mind about where he wishes to play next season, despite the fact that Manchester City have yet to meet Villa’s asking price. Villa flatly rejected a £20m offer from City in May but are bracing themselves for an improved bid, with Downing suggesting it might represent “good business” for the Midlands club if they receive a substantial sum for Milner and reinvest that money to bring in several new players.

The Villa winger is less convinced, however, that joining City is the right move for Milner at this stage of his career. He believes City are already overloaded with midfielders and questions how much football Milner would play next season as Roberto Mancini strives to keep all the big names in his squad happy. “It will be interesting to see what XI [the manager] starts with because he’s got that much quality in that squad,” said Downing.

“They’re all going to be fighting for places. It’s going to be hard and it will be hard for James if he goes there. Will he play? I can’t think how many midfielders they’ve got. I think that will be one of the decisions [that he has to consider]: ‘Do I want to go there and be a bit-part or stay here and play?’ That’s totally up to him. I am sure he’s probably already made his decision.

“If James did go, and the money is what they’re talking it is, it’s a substantial amount for one player. If you could replace James with a player in and around his ability you would probably say it’s good business, because you might be able to get another one in as well. All players have their prices and, if it’s a big amount of money like that, do you not take it and then never get it again, or do you cash in and then buy someone of similar quality? It’s a big decision for the club and the management.”

The former Middlesbrough player believes City will be under huge pressure to win silverware next season following another summer of heavy investment, although he harbours some doubts about their transfer strategy. “You can’t spend that much money and not expect to win something, so there’s a lot of pressure on them to get it right. And sometimes it’s hard when you try to gel players into a new team. It doesn’t matter how much you paid for them. If they don’t click, then it doesn’t work.

“It’s not all about money. You can spend as much as you want on a player but, if he comes to a team and it doesn’t work – look at Robinho, he was bought for big money and he’s gone on loan. Sometimes you have to buy a player to fit a team and not just a player because of his name.”

Having missed out on the World Cup, Downing admitted he is keen for the new season to get under way. He is particularly eager to force his way back into the England squad after missing out on the World Cup. The winger had hoped at least to make it into Fabio Capello’s provisional 30-man squad for the finals in South Africa and remains upset that the England manager gave him no explanation for his omission.

“In the 30 I think there were a few surprises, not only out of the squad but in the squad as well. The only disappointing thing is I didn’t get told why I was not in the squad. I am sure a lot of people are in the same situation as me. There’s no point moaning, the only thing I can do is make sure I have a good season with Villa and get in the qualifying squads. The manager has said there will be changes, so we’ll wait and see when he names that squad in August.”

Aston VillaManchester CityTransfer windowStuart Jamesguardian.co.uk