Today’s fluff didn’t start the fire

Slowly, they come creeping back. The low flames flickering in the reflections of their bright eyes. Above the susurrating winds and the hushed chitter from the shadows, snatched phrases and tentative negotiating ploys are faintly audible: “Player-plus-cash deal” … “£120,000 a week” … “Six-month loan with a view to a permanent transfer pertaining to a pre-agreed contractual release clause.” The banked fires will be stoked again, fuel brought by willing arms. Out of the darkness they will flit, once more to dance in the circle of light …

[Fade to black]

Yep, the Mill is feeling in fine fettle this morning, as only three days after the transfer window SLAMMED SHUT the gears of spin, cant and innuendo are rapidly grinding back into life. The main target today is the England manager and national pin cushion, Fabio Capello, who is sensationally going to use players we have heard of in a formation that is practically hardwired into the English mentality for tonight’s Euro 2012 qualifier against Bulgaria. Capello’s decision to retain the majority of the squad that fared so badly in South Africa and send his team out in a staid, missionary 4-4-2 met with the usual LOLZ, Roflcopters!!, ZOMG!, lollerblading in my LMAOplane!!!!! response from the tabs. Oh, and the Mirror have decided to Photoshop the Italian up like Frankenstein’s monster too.

From one soon-to-be ex-manager (well, he will be one day) to an ex soon-to-be-new manager, the Daily Mail have announced that Gérard Houllier has got the Aston Villa job. This, of course, would be the same Gérard Houllier who was part of the Fifa technical study group that yesterday doled out praise for England’s 4-4-2 loving World Cup flops. It’s only if you read down far enough that the Mail admit they don’t actually know what job it is Houllier has been given (if given one he has been). “It is as yet unknown in what capacity the Frenchman will return,” the report murmurs. Head of catering, perhaps?

Sticking with the Mail, where the Spartak Moscow manager, Valeri Karpin, is totally into Chelsea’s Yuri Zhirkov. “I was interested, I am now and I will be in the winter,” Karpin cooed in a Facebook message to the Russian left-back. We’ll see how steadfast his affection is come January.

The Mirror delight in the scatological headline possibilities allowed for by Celtic’s decision to sniff, ahem, around Danny Shittu. The former Bolton defender is a free agent, so can sign for who he likes yah-boo-sucks to you, transfer deadline. Leicester also fancy a [big Nigerian centre-half].

After welcoming old new-signing Sandro to England five months after he agreed to join, Spurs have turned their attention to Supersport United’s Bongani Khumalo. Harry Redknapp has typed a number into his calculator (possibly 5318008 and turned it upside down) but the South African side are holding out for an unspecified higher amount. Michael Kightly, meanwhile, overlooked for Wolves’ 25-man Premier League squad, could be sent on loan to Reading and Chris Riggott is to go on trial at Cardiff.

In transfers-that-didn’t-happen news, West Ham’s Valon Behrami is still pining for Roma. “I am disappointed the deal failed to go through – that is for certain,” he told the Sun. “Avram Grant gave me his permission to speak with Roma. But he also said he needs me, with West Ham bottom of the table. I’m sure I’ll still get to play for them.” And they say the Swiss don’t get passionate about things.

Jamie Carragher is going to sign on at Liverpool. No, not for his £64.30 Jobseekers Allowance, but for two more years being given the runaround by the Anfield oppo. Thankfully on this one, Fabio Capello has seen the light. Across La Manche, France’s players have signed up to a good behaviour charter, so says Bacary Sagna. If they’re naughty again like they were at the World Cup, there’ll be no frites for tea, or something.

Benjani has said Manchester City lack “class”. Meh. And Zlatan Ibrahimovic reckons “City are still a side for the future. I chose Milan because they are a team that can win prizes now. City can wait for the future but I can’t.” But can they, Zlatan? Can they?

Finally, exclusive to all newspapers is the news that Cheryl and Ashley Cole are to divorce today. Although the Mill might keep its Cheryl Cole RSS feed – purely in the event that she hooks up with another brother from the fraternity – if that’s all right by you.

Aston VillaChelseaTottenham HotspurCelticAlan Gardnerguardian.co.uk

• City move ahead of United in battle to sign midfielder
• Champions League football and £24m fee may seal deal

Aston Villa face a major battle to keep hold of James Milner after Manchester City identified the midfielder as one of their summer transfer targets.

The England international has been in outstanding form this season, prompting Martin O’Neill to admit last week that he anticipates interest in Milner from leading clubs at home and abroad. There has been speculation that Manchester United are monitoring Milner’s position but City’s interest is known to be stronger and promises to pose a major threat to any hopes their neighbours might have of signing the former Leeds United trainee.

City’s Abu Dhabi owners will sanction another lavish spending spree before the start of next season as part of their plans to become a major force in world football and that process will be largely overseen by Brian Marwood, the club’s football administrator. Marwood has long admired Milner’s qualities as a footballer and also knows the player well from his previous employment as head of UK operations for Nike, which sponsors the 24-year-old.

Villa would be likely to demand double the £12m they paid Newcastle United for Milner two years ago and the player could also expect to double his £45,000-a-week wages at Eastlands. Financing a deal will present no problem for the world’s richest club but much may depend on whether City seize the final Champions League qualification spot and how events unfold at Villa Park during the summer.

Milner has two years remaining on his contract and, although Villa have signalled their intention to extend that deal and offer improved terms, no talks are scheduled. O’Neill said last month that he was keen to ensure there are no distractions for Milner and suggested that the two parties might not sit down to discuss a new contract until after the World Cup.

Since making those comments, however, O’Neill’s long-term future has become uncertain and it may well be that Milner’s next move is dependent on the decision the Villa manager makes on his own position in the summer.

Milner is known to feel a debt of gratitude to Villa and in particular to O’Neill, whose desire to sign Milner led to the club paying Newcastle what many felt at the time was an inflated fee, and his decision this season to move him from wide right to central midfield has proved a masterstroke.

Both those factors are likely to weigh heavily on Milner’s mind should O’Neill opt to stay at Villa Park for a fifth season. There is, however, also an acceptance that Champions League football would be hard for him to resist at a time when Villa appear to have hit a glass ceiling. O’Neill said this month that “for James to continue to improve we will need to improve the standard of our player”, yet there have been suggestions that the club’s owner, Randy Lerner, will tighten rather than loosen the purse strings this summer.

O’Neill suggested that, if that were the case, one potential way to deal with it would be through “maybe taking a risk with a major player to be transferred [out] to sort things out”. He would, however, be extremely reluctant to lose Milner. Fabio Capello described him as England’s most improved player this season and his impressive performances were recognised last week when he was shortlisted for the Professional Footballers’ Association young player of the year award.

Those performances have also caught Sir Alex Ferguson’s eye, although the United manager is expected to have other priorities in the summer, including a new striker, before he turns his attention to strengthening an ageing midfield.

It would rankle with Villa supporters if another key player was sold to City in the wake of Gareth Barry’s transfer last year, although the circumstances are different. Whereas Barry had been agitating for a transfer for 12 months and was happy to join a club that had failed to qualify for Europe, Milner has never rocked the boat at Villa and is unlikely to move unless Champions League football were on offer.

Premier LeagueAston VillaManchester CityStuart Jamesguardian.co.uk